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Many of Emily’s friends had started dating, and a few of them were already engaged. “You’re in a different place than a lot of your friends,” I reminded her. At age 4, she asked me to show her on the calendar when she would be a grown-up.I will remember that I am your husband and that I love you. I will appreciate you more and express it more often.They were frustrated because they intuited that marriage is worth the effort, but they could not adequately articulate why.Family, companionship, stability and love were some of the responses they gave.I will remember that while it is you who lights the Shabbat candles, that wonderful symbol of shalom bayit, peace in the home, our harmony is not your responsibility alone.It is our responsibility; in fact, it is I who prepares the candles for your flame.
*** “I think I’m going to start dating, Mom,” Emily told me on the phone from college, when she was 19. This choice reflected her beliefs as an Orthodox girl: Dating happens only when you are marriage-minded.
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Emily, 20, and Michael, 21, were the youngest couple announced that week, and most likely for the entire year. This was not the milestone I had envisioned for my first-born during her sophomore year of college.
It’s taken a year, a challenging year, but I’ve finally come to accept the decisions Emily made.